Thursday, November 30, 2006

“Bulging trousers” sealed the win

bulgeJudges for this year's annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award were moved by first-time author Ian Hollingshead’s evocation of “a commotion of grunts and squeaks, flashing unconnected images and explosions of a million little particles.” His description of “bulging trousers” sealed the win, the judges said.

“Because Hollingshead is a first-time writer, we wished to discourage him from further attempts,” the judges — editors of Literary Review magazine — said in a statement. “Heavyweights like Thomas Pynchon and Will Self are beyond help at this point.”

The prize aims to skewer “the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel.”

Some of the other contenders produced equally excruciating descriptions of sex and things sexual. Mark Haddon compared sexual rapture to "the smell of coconut" and "brass firedogs". Tim Willcocks, this year's runner-up, wrote about medieval passion in a forge: "In the pit of his stomach a cauldron boiled and some seething and nameless brew rose up through his spine and filled his brain with the Devil's Fire."

Go here to read more about this year's award.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, I could've been a contender with my writing!

8:28 am  
Blogger Qenny said...

Those are very nice, bulging swim shorts, though.

9:06 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the pic Nomad!

God I love aussiebums!!

11:33 am  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

DougZAR: You haven’t, as far as I know, written much about sex. If you have on your blog, I’ve missed it. I shall have to go do some digging.

Qenny: They are, aren’t they?

Paul: You’re welcome! It’s my gratuitous ‘sex pic’ for the month. If you love aussiebums, I hope you clicked on the pic and went looking around the site.

12:03 pm  
Blogger angel said...

sheesh- i haven't tried erotic fiction- but that crap makes my writing look good!

2:12 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nomad, you won't find any soft-corn porn in my blog. I might have to post a piece of my personal work (writing, that is) to give you an idea.

5:26 pm  
Blogger Unsane said...


6:50 am  

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