“Bulging trousers” sealed the win
“Because Hollingshead is a first-time writer, we wished to discourage him from further attempts,” the judges — editors of Literary Review magazine — said in a statement. “Heavyweights like Thomas Pynchon and Will Self are beyond help at this point.”
The prize aims to skewer “the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel.”
Some of the other contenders produced equally excruciating descriptions of sex and things sexual. Mark Haddon compared sexual rapture to "the smell of coconut" and "brass firedogs". Tim Willcocks, this year's runner-up, wrote about medieval passion in a forge: "In the pit of his stomach a cauldron boiled and some seething and nameless brew rose up through his spine and filled his brain with the Devil's Fire."
Go here to read more about this year's award.