Friday, September 22, 2006

Half inches

It’s raining outside today so I had to have my fag in the horrid, cramped, smoky box outside, the place that is unaffectionately known as the ‘smoking room’. One of my fellow smokers was reading the Sun (why do people read that paper??) and looked up as one of her colleagues squeezed into the box.

Pointing at the front page article on Richard Hammond, she said, ‘It’s amazing, not a single broken bone in his body, just a black eye.’ Obviously, she was only referring to visible injuries as the poor guy has significant brain damage.

‘Well, he’s only five two, you know,’ said her colleague as if that explained it. He looked a couple of inches shorter than six foot.

Another woman, herself probably about five two, motioned at herself and piped up, ‘And your point is?’

He smiled at her, looking slightly sheepish, ‘Um, yes, I see what you mean.’

The Sun reader, also smiling, said, "When I had my accident and I was giving the policeman my details for the report, I told him I was five, three and a half but I saw him write five foot three. I said, ‘Excuse me, but that should be five three AND a half!’ ‘Oh, SORRY,’ he said and changed it for me."

‘I thought it was only us men who worried about halves,’ said her friend.

‘Oh no,‘ she said, ‘that half inch is VERY important. So you mean to say you’re five and a half?’

‘Fuck you,‘ he said as everyone laughed.

He did walk into that one, didn’t he?

9 Comments:

Blogger LiVEwiRe said...

You know, I thought it was just men that worried about the half until I met a girl that was 4' 11 1/2" - to her, that made all the difference! (And yeah, he did walk into that one!)

5:41 pm  
Blogger angel said...

heh heh- i love it when someone can think up a snappy comeback i.s.o. going "that's what i should have said" half an hour later!
i' ALMOST 5 foot 4- the "almost" is essential in a family of 6 footers!

7:30 pm  
Blogger Terri said...

I can't believe he didn't see that one coming hehe!
btw What does his height have to do with anything? Richard Hammond, that is.

2:08 pm  
Blogger Rob7534 said...

What's so wrong with 5-1/2"!

7:20 am  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

LiVEwiRe : My wife is 5ft 3.5 and that extra half makes a big deal to her too.

angel: I also wish I could be faster with clever comebacks. They always occur to me too late.

Terri: Like the woman who pointed at her own height, I couldn’t understand what height had to do with anything. I think he was implying that a shorter person can get off more easily from a crash. Strange logic to me too.

Rob7534: It’s not the size but how you use it. Allegedly. :-)

But, in a world that refers to average being 6, any implication that you may be less than average is bound to be taken as some sort of insult. However, you must agree that if it was only 5, you may want to add on an extra half?

9:26 am  
Blogger Alan said...

I am only 5'7" but that is not too bad when you condider that my parents are only 5'1" and 5'4". If I had that extrea 1/5" I would use it. The small thing may help you survive a big imopact. A mouse will bounce if dropped from 20 feet but a horse would go splat. All to do with weight to surface area ratio. And Rihard Hammond is knwn as the hamster.

11:50 am  
Anonymous basil said...

someone once said to me that his was 12 inches....but he didn't use it as a rule!

11:59 am  
Blogger Paul said...

Basil: GROAN! ;o)

My extra half inch makes loads of difference... I love being 5'7&1/2!

2:36 pm  
Blogger Paul said...

Basil: GROAN! ;o)

My extra half inch makes loads of difference... I love being 5'7&1/2!

2:36 pm  

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