Monday, May 29, 2006

Poor Jacob Zuma

I've decided to avoid cheap jokes about Zuma since I think the poor man has suffered enough already. Although he's innocent of rape the stigma sticks.

But I was on my way home recently and (typically) came to a dead halt in traffic but it was much worse than normal.

After a while, I noticed a policeman and asked him what the hold up was.

He said "It's Jacob Zuma sir, he's depressed. He's stopped his car and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. He is protesting that nobody believes him - that 50% still think he was guilty of rape, that he's being pre-judged in the media about the corruption allegations and that people are making fun of him for having a shower after sex with an HIV positive woman to lessen the risk of becoming infected.

"He doesn't understand why so many people think he's unsuitable to become, we're taking up a collection for him"

Thoughtfully, I asked "How much have you collected so far?" The policeman said: "About forty gallons sir, but a lot of people are still syphoning."


Blogger angel said...

listen. dude. you HAVE to put a "laugh induced asthma attack" warning on these things... i nearly collapsed!

4:20 pm  
Blogger Caroline said...

Sticky stimgas are the pits... definitely best if burnt off...

7:20 pm  
Anonymous Christopher said...

We recently advertised a few vacancies at work and this past Saturday my HR Manager worked her way through the applications. One of our casual staff members is currently studying for a B Comm. in something or other, but it must be at the Jacob Zuma University. Under "skills & competencies" she listed "Displays and raping".

I wish I was making that up.

7:31 pm  
Anonymous patita said...

Well done!

8:13 pm  
Blogger justin said...

That's very funny, RN.

9:33 pm  
Blogger DougZAR said...

Don't laugh! He could still be our next President. Save that gasoline for me!

8:42 am  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

Angel: Laughter is the best medicine, apparently.

Caroline: I wonder if you believed in burning witches at the stake in a previous life?

Christopher: Now THAT is funny!

Patita: Thank you. I think

Justin: Glad you liked it.

Tigger: I know he could. It’s depressing.

12:54 pm  
Anonymous xmichra said...

hehe... that's pretty funny... and I thought Clinton was the sexual laughing stock.. hehe

1:33 pm  
Blogger nyasha said...

Zuma has indeed become the butt of jokes and there are aplenty. Came across this one : "a wash a day keeps AIDS away".

3:02 pm  
Blogger Vitor said...

zuma is just weird.

8:51 pm  
Blogger Babsbitchin said...

nomad, you are just incorigable...but funny as hell!!

3:00 am  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

xmichra: Although he got cleared of the rape charges, the lasting legacy of the trial will be the details that emerged from the trial about how he conducted himself. The washing after having had unprotected sex with a woman he knew was HIV + was particularly striking as he used to head up the government’s anti AIDS/HIV campaign.

Coffee addict: Thanks for that link. There are a lot of jokes about him floating around the web.

Vitor: He sure is and having him as the next president, as could well happen, will be terrible.

Babs: I think Zuma’s more incorrigible than I am!!! :-)

8:27 am  
Anonymous kamagra said...

In recent days I've heard so much about this so called Jacob Zuma and I honestly have no idea who the hell he is! Would you mind telling me who he is?

2:33 pm  
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1:51 am  

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