Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Three bad signs

dog in the rubbishI stopped sleeping in my bedroom months ago. Alone, that is. I'll sleep there if I have someone with me but if on my own, I sleep on the couch. I'm not sure why I do as the bed's a lot more comfortable but sleeping on the couch feels how I imagine a dog feels when it climbs into its kennel.

It's very cold here at the moment but that's really no excuse not to go out to the late night convenience store, only 5 minute's walk away. I wanted some bread with my soup tonight and found none in my freezer. At first I was going to do without it and then I remembered throwing some away last night because it was stale. I fished it out of the bin (it was wrapped in plastic!), managed to cut it into two slices, toasted them and ate them with the soup.

A very good friend from South Africa was in the UK for two weeks until a week ago. He tried to get hold of me often to arrange meeting up but apart from once (he was out), I didn't bother to return his calls.


Blogger andrea said...

I don't get #1 (I love my bed), I sort of get #2, but #3 I really get. Maybe it's a sign of age. It seems like too much trouble. I did the same thing at Christmas when a friend was here from Bath.

3:13 am  
Blogger Rob7534 said...

I never used my bedroom for a long while, mostly because I don't have a tv in my bedroom. So I often fell asleep in front of my couch. However, I'm more accustomed to sleeping in my bed now, because I have blackend out the windows. Cause I work days.

So, by toasting the bread, does it destroy all the Fungus in the stale bread? :::shivers:::

4:29 am  
Anonymous patita said...

I can also relate to the last one... the feeling of having to be as a friend expects me to be when I'm not really up to it at all. Intimidating, really. But one of the people at dinner with me tonight got a fortune along the lines of "do something unfamiliar every day."

4:36 am  
Anonymous Ling said...

Will he still be a "very good friend" ?

4:39 am  
Anonymous xmichra said...

I actually don't get the bread thing *ew*, but totally get the first and last.

The last - I have friends that live elswhere and I don't ge tto visit often either.And if I am not up to 'par' emotionally I will dodge calls or visits so that they don't go away thiking I thought that little of them. There is also the people I used to be chums with. but over the years i have been becoming this different person, adn just don't 'feel'like pretending for anight or two. Much easier or all if we e-mail.

The first - when mark went to Edmonton for his training (two months) I never slept in our bed alone. Because It was 'ours'. Didn't matter that it was new and we had not 'used' it yet. In my head it was ours and it wasn't for feeling lonely. I would imagine that this would transfer If I ever was to not be with Mark anymore. I would never want to feel lonely in my bed, because too me that is the one pllace you should always feel the up most comfort. Lonelyness doesn't project comfort.
Not saying any of this is you.. but that's how I would feel.

4:44 am  
Blogger kyknoord said...

Going into a canine phase are we? I guess that would explain #3, because dogs seldom return phone calls and when they do, they don't have much to say.

5:42 am  
Blogger LiVEwiRe said...

Look, if penicillin is made from mold, some stale bread must be kind of good for you actually, right? Was there a reason you opted not to persue talking with this friend? Sometimes it just feels forced but I'm wondering if there's more to it...

7:02 am  
Blogger whatalotoffun said...

The Bread thing: If the wrapping was still on and no mold I would of done the same if I were in your shoes. The friend thing: I am a peoples person like people around me all the time but if I dont feel like people I dont answer there calls either or I will be "busy" if they want to come over (that happens very seldom)

7:15 am  
Blogger Caroline said...

Bad signs? It depends....

If you have no way of cleaning whatever you sleep in on your couch then its going to get gross... otherwise what does it matter... is it hurting your posture? (If so you could always try some yoga ;-)

Stale bread - depends on the condition.... maybe you should ask yourself if you were being too neat or plain wasteful in the first place??? These things are all relative.

Old friends - some people help us recharge and others don't - trust your intuition.

blupms - so word veri is implying you are having the blues and that its like PMS... in that case you need a hot water bottle to cuddle up with and go easy on the chocolate!

8:37 am  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

Andrea: I think we all go through phases like that and they probably get more frequent with age but I was really surprised at myself as I really enjoy his company. His ex, someone we both met at the same time in Cape Town, originally from Nottingham, now living in Oz, has been in the UK for the past two weeks. He’s great company but had it not been for the fact that he was in Nottingham and meeting up with him would not have to involve a whole night out on the tiles, I’d probably have avoided meeting him. At the moment, I’ve not contacted my best friend from varsity who lives in London since Christmas and I’m sure he’s annoyed with me.

I’m sure all of these people suffer from the same sort of avoidance behaviour at times but if you perceive you’re at the receiving end of it, it’s probably quite offensive/hurtful.

Rob: You’ve blackened out the windows because you work days? That sounds wrong – don’t you mean you’ve blackened them out because you work nights? There was no fungus on the bread, it wasn’t THAT stale!

Patita: you mean that person has made a fortune by doing that? There’s a English (I think) guy in his mid- to late-twenties who has recently brought out a book on being nice to everyone or doing a good deed every day or something. He’s made a fortune from that.

Ling: I’m sure we will still be very good friends unless avoidance were to become a regular feature of our friendship. I gave some plausible excuses for not being available but even if they were a bit transparent, I think he’s the sort of person to understand as he’s a lot more like that than I am.

Xmichra: It makes sense about the email stuff with some friends, especially where you think you are on divergent paths. Although we haven’t seen each other for ages, I doubt that our paths have diverged that much. I know what you are saying about loneliness and there are times when I do feel very lonely but I’ve never associated sleeping alone with loneliness.

Kyknoord: Trust you to pick up the common thread that was there – it must have been in my head subconsciously to link them like that but it took you to find and articulate the common canine thread .

Livewire: There was NO mould on it! I’ll happily chop mould off cheese to get at the unmouldy cheese but I’d have to be really desperate/lazy to eat mouldy bread! I can’t think of any logical reasons for not wanting to see him apart from just not feeling like it.

Whatalottafun: I’m glad you and I are on the same wavelength when it comes to bread! I like socialising too but I often want to retreat to my own space and not feel under pressure to entertain or communicate.

Caroline: I think the couch could do with a good clean but it has nothing to do with my sleeping on it as I put a sheet down so that I’m not stewing in my juices in direct contact with the couch. As for the bread, I wasn’t being neat (I wish!!) nor wasteful as the bread was the sort that needs to be eaten within a day or two before being noticeably stale. It was only just ‘toastable’, not the sort of bread someone on a normal wage would make a habit of eating. Hot water bottle? I’d rather sleep with a hottie! :-)

9:36 am  
Anonymous Alan said...

1. If you have trouble sleeping you should sleep where you are most comfortable. You seem to associate your bed with sex and not sleep and thats probably why you find it hard to sleep alone there.

2. Cutting off the mould and toasting it is perfectly safe but its only a five miniute walk for Gods sake !

3. It can get very annoying when calls are not returned. If you value you him as a mate then give him a call or text just to say Hi.

The canine in you does seem to be taking over. Definite dog instincts being exhibited here. Maybe castration could sort it out ! Or just a hell of a lot of Stella.

12:29 pm  
Anonymous patita said...

oh! I meant the little slip of paper in the cookie, not a big pile of currency... but was having trouble communicating. next time I'll just howl in sympathy!

5:49 pm  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

Maybe that's an American way of communicating about fortune cookies?

However, if you start howling I won't be at all surprised after your recent encounter with Dracula! :-)

6:21 pm  
Anonymous patita said...

"Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!"

4:27 pm  
Blogger rhino75 said...

I don't understand the couch thing at all - I love my bed soooooo much and anyway, the cat tends to sleep on the couch! The friends thing I understand a bit more 'cos I know other people who do that, but I don't get like that myself. The only time I think I consciously don't return calls etc. is if I am genuinely really busy. I've been pretty down this week (boy trouble, 'nuff said) and my friends have been fab. It's not good to cut oneself off!! No-one's even said "I told you so!" :D The bread thing is, of course, totally ewwww, and SO not fabulous, there's no excuse. ;-)

12:33 pm  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

rhino: glad to see that you haven't completely retreated into some gallic hell! The bread thing isn't very glamorous but isn't there a hint of romantic bohemian squalour about it?

8:57 am  
Blogger rhino75 said...

"La Bohème" (with or without bread) is VERY last season. We should all be feeling a little "Madame Butterfly" at the moment, if my zeitgeist-o-meter is to be trusted. Remember where you read it first...;-)

8:12 am  
Blogger Reluctant Nomad said...

What should I eat and how should I behave to cast off last season's Boheme and become this season's Butterfly?

11:20 am  
Blogger rhino75 said...

Japanese, of course. Either ramen or sushi will do. And you should spend a lot of time looking out of the window "tragically". I think that's as far as you need take it, though. :-)

2:30 pm  

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